"What a consolation for us, brothers and sisters, in the midst of our troubles and trials, this faith of yours! It is a breath of life for us when you stand firm in the Lord. .... May the Lord increase more and more your love for each other and for all people, as he increases our love for you. May He strengthen you interiorly to be holy and blameless before God, our Father, on the day that Jesus, our Lord, will come with all His saints." - The book of The Thessalonians

Those were the very words of God for me today. It had struck me in the most intimate way. It is God telling me to STAND FIRM and wait for His glory to come. The past days have been very crucial and at the same time very personal for me. I remember in one of my last journal entry that I can feel God will be speaking to me very powerfully. And He just did... Somehow I could still not understand or grasp all the things that He wanted me to hear or learn from Him but all I know and believe that He is laying out all His plans and letting me feel all His love.

It ALL became REAL. In one of my silent days, i just remember my very prayer to the Lord before I was sent here to Africa. To CHANGE ME.. Make me a better and changed person.. Stronger everyday. And what an amazing God He is that He is answering my prayers. All the songs I am singing, beyond borders, walking on water, everything.... it all just became real... and it's fulfilling that in every step of the way, God is showing His mercies and grace comes in. You will feel how personal it is. You will feel the wonder and the fulfilling desires of God coming out through you... it all came to me.

With all that is happening around me.. the situations.. the concerns.. and the miracles.. in my community and in my family.. I go back to the very essence of my love for God and His love for me. I go back to the time when He allowed me to fall in love with Him. To see Him in my own way. He allowed me to feel his heart and His passion. I met Him in my heart and in my whole being. God has showed me His promises and He made me a person with a desire to change and to bring change. I could not thank God properly with all the things He has blessed me. A lot has been given to me.. And I am just a small woman with nothing to offer. He gave me His life, His heart, and His love.

This is NOTHING ABOUT ME.... and it will not be about me. I could not be selfish. I could not be proud of myself. All I could give glory is the passion that God has allowed me to experience. The trials and sufferings are a part of who I am and what I am made to be. God has given me the time to serve Him and I am grabbing that. I don't understand why He loved me that much. God has brought me to a place where I could feel the most of Him. Pray the most. and listen to Him the most. And He has given me peace.

In everything. IT IS STILL ABOUT HIM. His glory and His power. Everything became real to me when He brought me here. All these is part of who I am and where should I be. I will be forever grateful of that. The mission and my life is all for Him. And to where He is leading me next will all still be about HIM. And about His love for me and His love for all.

To God be the glory....forever.

Labels: missionary life, personal